he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
