I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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