Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
