i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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