it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
