dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
