he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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