smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I can text with my tongue
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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