I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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