Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
