just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
