Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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