They should really pass out barf bags in church
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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