Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
