Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
