THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
