I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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