# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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