She's JV to your varsity
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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