I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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