Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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