apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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