I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
