Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
