So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
