I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize