nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
