Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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