scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
