you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
