yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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