Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
