Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
