So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just want to make out with him forever
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
