3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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