Fuck appropriateness.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
