i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So much rum. So many feels.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
