I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
