i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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