Jerry, you need to find god
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
