the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I queefed so loud it echoed.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
