Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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