He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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