k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
