Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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