I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
