so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
