Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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