I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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