I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
