his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
