I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize