You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
