Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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