i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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