Only a mothe r could love this liver
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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