Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize