he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
sarcasm needs its own font
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
