So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
