sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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