im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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