Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
